Righteous parenting might not be a phrase you are familiar with. However, it’s simply raising godly children to the best of your ability. Biblical parenting means using the Bible as your guide. So, how do we raise children according to the Bible? You might be tempted to think of strict guidelines, but it’s about incorporating faith into your daily family life and helping your children develop their faith. It’s parenting with God’s wisdom – He knows we need it!

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Understanding Biblical Standards vs. Social Norms

Although society would like us to believe that Christian family values are outdated, that is the furthest thing from the truth. The Bible is the best parenting guide available to us. It never goes out of style or is outdated!

We have our ideas and intuition about what is best for our kids, but better than us; their creator knows what is best, wouldn’t you agree? We must understand that “good” parenting isn’t necessarily “godly” parenting. As society has drifted from biblical values, parenting standards have also been affected.

For example, society tells our children they can be whatever they want (even an animal!) God tells us in His Word that we were made with a unique plan and purpose from the beginning.

Training Up Your Children

The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The amplified version says, “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Isn’t that cool? Each child has a gift or bent given to them by their creator. Our assignment and duty as their parents is to train them in it. Notice the scripture uses the word train? If you have ever received training for a job, you understand what training means. It’s often meticulous and specific for what you were hired to do.

Your number one job in training your children is introducing them to Jesus and teaching them how to hear God’s voice for themselves. This means that being a Christian isn’t limited to church but is talked about and lived out daily—in every situation.

When our children were young, we taught them to recognize those “God moments” in their lives. We taught them how to love their enemies when they had a bully at school or how to trust God through their disappointments.

Many times, parents want to shield hurtful situations from their children. However, what is done out of love for your child is actually hurting them in the long run. Children need to be trained on how to have peace in the midst of a storm or joy in a trial. That training can’t occur if you run to their rescue whenever a hard thing arises.  

Leading by Example

The most important way to train your child is to teach by example. I learned the importance of reading my Bible not because I was told to do it, but because I saw my dad’s open Bible on the table every morning left as evidence of his morning devotion. I saw his relationship with God lived out and, therefore, adopted that life for myself.

As parents, there were plenty of times when we messed up! We got impatient and yelled at or disciplined our kids out of frustration instead of love. In those times, we humbled ourselves and asked our kids for forgiveness. Asking our children for forgiveness taught them that we all make mistakes. How we handle those mistakes is what matters, and forgiveness is a huge part of that.

Practical Application

Our children also had the special “privilege” of being raised as PKs (pastor kids, with the baggage that goes with that title). Therefore, they didn’t have a choice about attending church—it was the culture of our family. However, as they all left home and went to college, they found a church to attend and quickly began serving. Why? Did we make them? No, it was ingrained in their habits.

Although going to church is great and teaches us about the Bible, what makes the difference is how we apply that knowledge at home. God doesn’t have grandchildren, so our job as parents is to show our faith – to live it out and teach our children that they can have the same thing. The following ideas are ways we applied the Word to parenting:

• We let our children see our struggles (appropriate to their age).
• We used the dinner table to talk through our days.
• God was woven into the fabric of our lives – into our music and entertainment.
• We taught our children how to forgive
• We taught them to obey us right away, which in turn taught them to obey God right away.
• We taught them not to override their conscience.

Building a Support System

You might think, “Well, that’s great, but what if I don’t know that stuff myself?” My answer is that you have a great opportunity to learn together. Your children need to see that you don’t have all the answers. It’s okay to admit we don’t have all the answers, but we know the One who does.

A support system is vital when parenting. The following are suggestions to build a support system:

• Make going to church a regular occurrence. Surround yourself with believers who can come alongside you.
• Involve mentors and spiritual leaders.
• Work with Sunday School teachers and youth leaders.
• Involve grandparents and extended family who have the same beliefs.

Bringing It All Home

You know what's amazing about righteous parenting? It's not about being perfect – it's about being present. Present with your kids, present with God, and present in the journey of growing together. We've shared a lot today about biblical parenting, but here's what we really want you to take away: God chose YOU to be your children's parent. Not because you have it all figured out, but because He knew you'd seek His wisdom in raising them.

Whether you're just starting your parenting journey or you're seasoned veterans like us, know that God's grace is sufficient. He fills in our parenting gaps, guides us when we're lost, and provides wisdom when we ask.

Keep pointing your children to Jesus, keep growing in your own faith, and keep bringing hope home to your family. Because, at the end of the day, that's what righteous parenting is all about.

We'd love to hear your stories! How are you incorporating biblical values into your parenting journey? Share your experiences in the comments below or connect with us on social media.

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